“I figured, what was the point, right? Not only had I killed my baby but that there would be no more.” Izzie started crying in earnest at the reminder of her loss.
“Stop right there. You did not kill your baby. You were not responsible for what happened. Not at all.” Andi kept her voice firm, needing Izzie to believe the truth. “Remember that awful man who kidnapped us? He is a murderer. Plain and simple.”
When Izzie started to shake her head, Andi stopped the motion with a firm hand on her cheek. “Yes, he is. He passed out those pills, knowing what they would do. Everyone trusted him. It is not our fault. None of it is. Do you think that I don’t wish I would have at least put up a little bit of a fight before I walked onto that shuttle? I strapped myself into that seat, Izzie. I watched everything happen and was too scared to do anything. Brandy and I both got sick when we realized what we had allowed to happen.”
When Izzie opened her eyes again and looked at Andi with what Andi could only dare to dream was hope, Andi reaffirmed her earlier words. “We all have regrets. Let the guilt go. It isn’t your fault. Nobody blames you for what happened.”
“What about Nixon?” Izzie rubbed at her eyes, trying to clear them.
“That big strapping warrior is losing his mind because he doesn’t know how to get you to understand what I have been trying to tell you today.” Andi waited a moment and was surprised when Izzie gave her a soft, sad smile.
“He is pretty big, isn’t he?” Izzie gave a small laugh when Andi agreed.
“You are aware that we basically had to kick him out of here, right?”
“I can remember hearing his voice talking to me, but I didn’t listen to him,” Izzie admitted.
“Well, first things first. No more meds to make you sleep, okay? If you want to get better, you need to be awake to do it.” Waiting for Izzie to nod, Andi was happy when Izzie moved on the pillow.
“I also want you to talk to your husband. He has been out of his mind the last few weeks worrying about you.” Andi decided she might as well not pull any punches since she was on a roll.
“I just don’t know what to say to him,” Izzie said softly. Rubbing her nose with one hand, she shook her head slowly.
“Nixon just needs you to talk to him. From what I can tell, he hasn’t had a chance to grieve. Hopefully that is something you can do together while we get you healthy.”
“I never even thought about it that way. Is he taking care of himself?” Izzie went from depressed to concern for her warrior faster than Andi could blink.
Andi shrugged her shoulders and answered honestly. “I didn’t meet him before this whole mess so I can’t tell if he is or not. I just know that last couple of times he has been here he’s been looking worn-out and pretty shaggy.” Cocking her eyebrow at Izzie, she asked, “Does he normally have a really shaggy beard and aversion to bathing?”
Izzie gasped and laughed a little, covering her mouth. “Oh my god, no. That man is usually so anal retentive he’s getting onto me for not picking up things. I’m pretty sure he showers twice a day.”
“Well then I would say that he needs an intervention…and his wife back.” Both women nodded at the same time as if they had just completed a huddle on the football field. “Are you going to be okay?”
“I have to be. I miss Nixon,” Izzie admitted. “Sleeping was just taking me away from here for a short amount of time. No dreams. Nothing. I just felt peace. I can’t do that anymore. If there is a chance that I can have a family with the man I love, then I have to try, right?” As Izzie spoke, her voice sounded stronger and stronger.
“Right. Let’s get you a wheelchair and to a regen bed so we can figure out what we are working with. Okay?” Standing up, Andi rubbed her hands together, anxious to get this new beginning started as soon as possible.
“Okay, let’s do this.” Izzie smiled and for the first time she looked like the fighter that Andi was sure she was.
Chapter Eight
After Izzie had been shuffled to the regen bed with some help from both Tamin and Rodin, the men took time to study the readouts. Izzie barely had enough strength from weeks of being bedridden to sit up. Andi helped her manage as well as she could with some pillows propped behind her.
“How long will it take for them to tell?” Izzie whispered to Andi for what seemed like the millionth time.
“I don’t know, Izzie. Just give them a few more minutes and if they don’t say anything, then I’ll interrupt them.” Andi tried to calm Izzie. The bride sitting on the bed was slowly starting to wilt in front of her eyes. The determination and hope Andi had seen thirty minutes ago was now looking more along the lines of desolation and despair.
“Tamin? Can you tell us what the report says?” Andi spoke in a sugary-sweet voice that made Tamin look up almost immediately. Once she had his attention, she jerked her head to Izzie and mouthed, “She’s freaking out.”
“Sorry for the wait, Isabel. Rodin is just rechecking the data and then we can go over the findings with you.” Tamin walked to the exam bed where the women were waiting. “How are you feeling? Any nausea or lightheadedness?”
“No, I just feel really weak. When I first started moving, I felt a little sick to my stomach but that’s getting better the longer I sit up.” Izzie looked at Andi. “Like I’m recovering from a wicked case of the flu.”
Andi explained, “Your muscles haven’t been used in a while. I’m sure that any movement is producing some soreness since it’s been so long since they’ve had a workout.” Looking up at Tamin, she cautioned him, “She needs to be helped anytime that she gets out of bed. Even small trips like the restroom. Until she regains some stability in her legs, she’ll be a fall risk. We should probably schedule some exercises for her to get her strength back as well.”
Tamin placed a hand on her shoulder, the palm feeling extremely hot even through the sweater Andi was wearing. “I agree. Nixon should be arriving soon and he will want to be involved in her care.”
Andi noticed that Izzie immediately sat up a little straighter. As she tossed some glances to and from the door, she asked in an excited voice, “How soon will he be here?”
“Considering that it was hard to get him to leave in the first place, I am expecting him to come charging through those doors any moment. Especially since I left him a message that you were up and asking for him,” Rodin stated as he walked to them.
“What did my results say? Tell me. Please,” Izzie practically begged Rodin.
“Well—” Rodin started when they all heard a loud bang in the front of the medical center.
“Izzie! Where are you? Izzie!” The shouts were frantic as footsteps rushed up the hall, checking each doorway.
“Calm down, Nixon. We are in here,” Tamin hollered, winking at Izzie who had started to push her hair back from her face and straighten her robe.
Rushing into the room was a well-put-together warrior who Andi barely recognized as the grieving husband from before. In the place of a shaggy beard were clean-shaven cheeks and a strong jaw. Hair that looked freshly washed and combed graced his head and his uniform looked newly pressed. Andi jumped off the bed just moments before she would have been pushed aside as Nixon basically covered Izzie in a full-body hug.
As Izzie and Nixon embraced, Tamin and Rodin both bracketed Andi’s body, one taking her hand and the other putting his arm around her shoulders. Watching the couple, Andi let out a sigh of happiness.
“He must love her dearly,” Tamin whispered to Andi.
“He does. I could tell when he wouldn’t leave her… Even when she told him to go, he stayed by her side.” Andi felt her eyes prick, a sign she might cry. She blinked quickly, trying to hold it in.
“I would not have left you either,” Rodin said clearly but softly from her right side, emphasizing his statement with a squeeze on her shoulder that moved her body closer to his.
“Should we give them a few moments alone?” Andi said softly, not wanting to be a voyeur but definitely fee
ling like one.
“I am fairly certain they will want to hear the news before we leave them to their reunion,” Rodin said loudly enough to interrupt the couple on the bed. Realizing they had an audience, Izzie and Nixon both straightened. Keeping their hands locked together, they looked up at the doctors.
“Doctors, what did the scans say?” Nixon’s voice was strong but Andi could tell he was nervous they would hear something his bride couldn’t take. He glanced nervously back and forth from her face to the doctors.
“Good news, actually.” Rodin grabbed a stool from the side of the room and scooted closer to the couple sitting on the bed, taking a doctor’s pose that Andi had seen used many times before to calm a patient.
“The scarring that occurred during the initial miscarriage isn’t as inflamed as it was on the first from a month ago. From the information gathered in the most recent regen bed scan, we have a fairly good chance of being able to minimize what is there enough for you to try to conceive again.”
Tamin was still holding on to Andi’s left hand and she squeezed his fingers, happy at the couple’s good news. When his fingers not only squeezed back but also stroked her palm, she looked up at him.
“What?”
“We heard you earlier. You are the reason she is out of that bed.” Tamin smiled down at her and accompanied the grin with another palm stroke.
“Just doing my job.” Andi tried to brush off the praise. “She is a friend; I had to try to help.”
“Well, thank you. We would have never been able to talk to her the way that you did.”
Before Andi could say anything else, she was pulled against a big uniformed chest.
“Oomph.” Her breath left her in one giant whoosh. This was the second time she had been crushed by the big man. She remembered him from the day of the kidnapping. Even then, he had shown his love for his bride by crying in front of Andi.
“Thank you so much, Andrea. I do not know how much longer I could have watched her wither away.” The voice belonged to Nixon whom she was still squished against so she couldn’t see his face.
An amused voice from the hospital bed chose that moment to chime in. “Well then maybe you don’t want to smother her to death. I don’t think she can breathe, Nix.”
“Sorry, so sorry.” As Nixon let Andi go, he patted her shoulders awkwardly.
He was clearly uncomfortable at the emotion he had shown on the spur of the moment. Andi decided to cut him some slack. “It was my pleasure. How about we all go into the main room and eat?” Looking at Izzie, she asked. “Izzie, you okay with sitting up for a while longer? I can take out your IV but I want you to eat only bland items to start with until we are sure your stomach won’t revolt.”
“Yes, thank you. I don’t really want to go back to that room for a while if I can help it. And I don’t care what I eat as long as it goes into my mouth and not my hand.” Izzie was helped out of bed by Nixon who decided to forgo the wheelchair completely and simply carry her out of the room.
As the trio followed the couple into the main area, Tamin and Rodin were both speaking about something on one of the tablets. Andi stopped to grab a few pillows to pad the chair that Izzie would be sitting in while she ate.
Nixon helped his wife get situated and then parked himself as close as physically possible to her without actually sitting in her lap. Filling her plate with food and cutting her sandwich into small bites as if she were a child, Nixon made sure to serve her before himself.
“When can she come home?” Nixon asked as he stared the doctors down. Obviously there was one answer he was wanting them to say and it was the word “now”.
“She is still very weak. Are you able to get time off duty on the bridge to be able to stay with her?” Rodin asked with his brow cocked, not at all intimidated by him.
“I am sure if you write a medical report, they will give me a leave until you think I can resume my duties,” Nixon offered. “According the Bridal Pact, our women come first.”
“That sounds fair. I will have Tamin prepare the paperwork and I will work up a care summary for Izzie. She will need to exercise her muscles, doing some therapeutic techniques to regain her strength but as long as you are with her until she is able to be fully functioning, then I see no problem with transferring her care to you.”
“Fully functioning?” Andi laughed as she repeated what he had said. “We are not robots, Rodin.”
Izzie couldn’t contain a giggle as Andi looked at her and rolled her eyes.
“I am fully aware that you are a woman, Andi.” The comment was said so seriously that everyone at the table became quiet. Andi looked across to Izzie, whose face had turned bright red, and felt her own face burn.
The rest of the meal was quiet except for Tamin and Rodin explaining the exercises that they needed Nixon to help Izzie with daily for her to regain strength. Listening to the men off and on, the women talked every once in a while. Mostly, Andi just took the time to think about the situation she had found herself in.
“Andi?” Tamin said, startling her.
“I’m sorry, my mind started to wander.” Embarrassed to see everyone staring at her, she looked around the table and asked, “What did I miss?”
“I explained to Nixon that we had some gift baskets with lotion prepared for the brides when they first arrived and asked if you would take Izzie to pick out one that has an appealing scent for her. He has been instructed which muscles may need to be massaged after her workouts if she encounters soreness.” Rodin pushed his chair back to stand and held out his hand for Andi to use to pull herself up with as well.
“Of course, I saw them in the supply closet.” Gathering her plate to dispose of the food she had forgotten to eat, Andi smiled at Izzie. “I’ll grab a few different ones so you have a variety. I’m not sure who did the ordering but they were a little click happy when it came to choosing the amount of lotion.”
“Thanks Andi, I appreciate it.” Izzie was picked up gently by Nixon who transferred her to the wheelchair that the doctors insisted on them taking back to their apartment.
As everyone picked up their plates and Andi packed Izzie a bag to go, Andi started to feel apprehensive about being alone with the men. Now that she knew what they wanted, it was hard to focus on anything else when they were in the room together. The proverbial elephant in the room was getting bigger and bigger by the second and would soon start stampeding its way right over her if she didn’t address it head-on.
Chapter Nine
For the next week, Andi avoided being alone with the doctors as much as possible. When they were through with patients, she would find that she needed to stock an exam room. As soon as they entered the exam room, she would leave with the excuse of paperwork to take care of in the main room.
She could tell that the doctors were getting tired of the situation. Loud sighs and disappointed looks were becoming more and more frequent. To their credit, they didn’t push her to talk to them. The only contact they initiated other than those regarding a patient was when they would brush by her. Every once in a while, one would touch her. The contact was always innocent, but Andi could feel the little touches all the way down to her toes.
Andi had the feeling her time was running out.
“Andi?” Rodin’s voice was strong and loud in the silent room.
“Yes, Doctor?” Andi answered automatically, falling back into her normal professional response.
“Please, call us by our names when we are alone.” Smiling at her, Rodin approached and took her by the hand. “Come and sit with us, we need to speak.”
“I’m sure there are tons of things that need to be done,” Andi started, only to have Tamin speak this time.
“Nothing that cannot wait.” Tamin pulled out a chair on the opposite side of her, caging her between the two men. Something they did frequently.
“We would like to say that we will be patient, no matter how much time that you need,” Tamin said as he looked at Rodin while talking to
her.
“What Tamin is trying to say, but unsure how to do it is, is that we are anxious to find out what you have decided. We want to give you time but find that it is driving us crazy to do so. Have you thought about the arrangement we proposed a week ago?” Rodin asked, plainly.
Folding her hands in her lap, Andi decided that it was now or never. “Well, I spoke to Zane about this quite a bit…” At the mention of her friend’s name, both Tamin and Rodin stiffened up like telephone poles. “You guys really need to chill out about Zane, especially since he is on your side,” Andi pointed out, scowling at the men for acting jealously over her friend.
“He is on our side?” Rodin’s voice rang with disbelief.
“Well…technically he’s on my side, which for the time being is also your side and that’s what we need to talk about. He pointed out that I have an attraction to you. Both of you. That I never had with him. Zane thinks that you two are the perfect match for me. That is, if I have the balls to go for it.” At the mention of balls, both of the men leaned back in their chairs slightly. “Don’t worry, guys, I don’t have any extra parts. It’s a figure of speech.”
“So you are agreeing to marry both Tamin and me?” Rodin asked calmly, although his fists were clenched at his side.
“First, I have some questions regarding this whole situation. Is ‘situation’ the best word for this? Maybe ‘arrangement’?” Andi started to ramble, unable to stop the nervousness that she was feeling from spilling from her mouth.
“We would call it a marriage.” Tamin smiled, obviously amused at her verbal diarrhea.
“Marriage. Gotcha.” Pointing her fingers like little guns, Andi made clicking noises and then realized what an idiot she must look and stopped.
“So now that we have agreed on what we would call our arrangement, what are the questions you have?” Rodin cocked his eyebrow.
“Well, exactly how would this work? Would we split time, me with one of you for a day and then switch off? Will jealousy be an issue?” Feeling as though she had a million more things she needed to ask, Andi realized she was very close to flapping her hands at them nervously. As she tucked her palms beneath her thighs, she saw the action did not go unnoticed by Tamin, who smiled at her.