by Kahlen Aymes
He groaned against her shoulder in regret. “Oh, God, Angel. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, baby, but I can’t stop. You make me insane. I don’t even know who I am right now.”
Her thighs tightened around him and her hips moved with his as they both raced with frantic abandon toward release. When he felt her shudder around him and stiffen in his arms, he came hard, emptying himself deep inside her body.
He held her against the wall, their bodies trembling and jerking with the aftershock, until their breathing evened out. Angel’s crying intensified when he tenderly pushed her hair, now damp with tears, off her face. His lips traced the outline of her face at the same time his arms tightened around her. Her heart exploded, ripping her apart as the shards fell. Angel’s hand stroked his head and her other arm wrapped tightly around his shoulders. Sobs threatened to break as she turned and kissed the side of his face, damp with perspiration. “Alex,” she choked out.
“Oh, Angel,” he sighed. “Are you okay?”
They clung together for long moments, but when she didn’t answer, he stood away from the wall and pulled out of her body, letting her feet find the floor. Angel moved away from him, bringing the back of her trembling hand to her mouth. Alex watched her and began to unbutton his shirt, taking it for granted that he’d stay with her now, moving to her and leaning in to kiss her mouth.
“Physically, I’m fine, but I still need you to go,” she said stoically before their lips met.
“What?” he asked in disbelief, pulling back from the almost-kiss.
“Nothing changes because of… this. It seems fitting we say goodbye like this. You can let yourself out.”
Angel walked numbly to her bedroom and locked the door, leaving a stunned Alex standing alone in her living room. She grabbed a pillow to muffle the sobs she knew would erupt in the following seconds and prayed he would leave before the proof of her grief would be undeniable.
5
Light and Dark
Alex stood, stunned, in the middle of the silent living room, unsure of what to do. Angel was as stubborn as he was, and when someone pushed him, it only made him more determined. So, he stood for several minutes until he finally poured himself another drink and lay down on Angel’s couch. He was shaken, no question. Her demand that things were over was unexpected after the evening and night they’d spent together the day before. In fact, every moment between them had been spectacular. Everything inside him denied that she would walk away from him and something that felt so amazing.
He ran a hand over his face as his mind fought with his heart. His chest resisted the deep breath he tried to draw in, his lungs aching. The scotch that burned all the way down did nothing to dispel the feeling, but maybe he’d get inebriated enough to shut off his mind. He couldn’t reconcile what had just occurred. She’d goaded and prodded until he’d lost control; in fact, she’d begun the process earlier in the day when she wouldn’t return his calls. She’d orchestrated his reaction perfectly.
“Humph!” he mused. His anger had gotten the better of him with Cole as well. He didn’t like how he felt. He was never out of fucking control like this! Instinct told him to fight for what he wanted, to get her to surrender—except he admired her strength and didn’t want to see her broken. He sighed deeply. For the first time, what someone else felt and what someone else wanted was more important than his own needs.
Alex turned his head in the direction of Angel’s room, straining to hear something, but there was only silence. It screamed back, mocking him like the class bully in sixth grade after he’d pushed you down in the dirt and kicked you in the stomach.
The silence confused him. Maybe she was unmoved; though her tears, while they battled it out with their mouths and bodies, told a different tale. His mouth thinned in anger. Something must have happened while he was in Hawaii. Yet, last night… He had to admit to preoccupation: the security breach at his estate, getting that damn deal finalized so he could get back to her, and methodically taking down that twisted bastard she was trying to put away. Had he missed something?
If that prick was leaving threats similar to the one he found on his car, her nerves must be shot. She put on a good show, but under the bravado, he sensed her fear. Alex’s blood boiled at the thought as he launched off the couch and down the hall.
His steps slowed as he approached her room, and his hand reached out to rest on the frame around the closed door. “Angel?” His tone was tempered with concern.
On the other side of the wood, Angel flinched at the sound of his voice. She was on the floor of her walk-in closet, clutching the pillow to her chest in the dark, tears still leaked in a steady stream down her face. Her eyes closed as she drew a gasping breath.
“Don’t let that prick separate us. Can you trust me? I won’t ever let anything hurt you.”
How does he know? She scrambled into a sitting position against the wall.
“Baby, you have to talk to me.” Alex paused. “Let me in.”
“It’s not about that,” she murmured softly. Her resolve to keep him safe laced her lie with conviction. Alex didn’t know how deviant that asshole was, or how far he would go, but she did. “It’s just not working out. I know myself, and I know you. It’s better to end it now. Quit while we’re ahead.”
Alex felt heat creeping up under the skin of his neck and rush toward his face. His heart fell, leaving an uncomfortable hollowness in his chest. He was filled with a mixture of disbelief and anger, not comprehending that this was what she really wanted.
“Was I the only one there? You still think I’m that guy? After how we’ve been together? You think it’s all been a fucking act?” His voice was deep and menacing.
No, I think you’re amazing, loving, witty, smart as hell, and so completely wonderful. “I can’t talk about it anymore. Can you please just go? If it’s like this now, imagine what it will be like if we keep going.” Her voice was weak, but he didn’t hear any waiver, no emotion to indicate she was lying.
“That’s all I fucking do is imagine it! I don’t believe this!” His fist connected with the door so hard it shook the walls. “I don’t fucking believe this! Angel!” He hit the door again, making her jump.
With her elbows on bent knees, she dropped her head into her hands and closed her eyes. “You don’t want a relationship with me. I’m too complicated. I don’t follow rules set for me by men who want to control me. In the end, you’ll thank me.”
“Don’t tell me what I want! Apparently, you don’t know me at all. Maybe I don’t know you, either.” Alex cleared his throat and dropped his hand from the door. He wasn’t used to being dumped, but by God, he wouldn’t grovel. He reminded himself who he was, and he would never beg. For anyone. “But, if you’ve decided this is the end, I will thank you now and leave it at that. Goodbye, Angel.”
She bit her lip to hold back the sobs, shaking until she heard the door slam in a cryptic bang behind him. Angel fell over and wrapped her arms around herself, gasping for breath she couldn’t find. Pain wrapped around her like a vice, her eyes hurt, and her throat ached, but still, she held it in, her body jerking in defiance. If Alex heard her cry, all of it would have been for nothing. After a few minutes, when she was sure he had gone, she finally allowed the hiccuping sobs to fill the silence.
* * *
“Alex!” Charles Avery startled his son out of his reverie. His eyebrow rose at Alex’s apparent preoccupation. It was bad enough that he’d shown up looking disheveled and unshaven, clearly preoccupied and unprepared for the meeting. “Son, are you with me?”
“What?” Alex was staring out the window at the haze that covered the city and blurred the blue of Lake Michigan into a sort of dark, murky grey. He turned abruptly at the harsh tone of his father’s voice and leaned forward on the table, glancing into hid stern expression. “Sorry, what were you saying?”
“I was asking what all of these local expenditures are about. You never mentioned to me that you had taken an interest in a local business. It�
��s so small, hardly the scope of our usual dealings.”
It was a week since the night at Angel’s, and though Alex tried to keep things business as usual, he was distracted. He spent most of his time hammering Cole and Bancroft about where Angel was or what she was doing and what remained to cement Swanson’s financial ruin. He was on a mission and worked tirelessly, driven until he exhausted himself. He ignored Darian and Cole’s invitations to go out, telling his friend he was too busy and demanding his brother forget socializing and get back to work. He wasn’t eating like he should, drinking way too much, and working out until his muscles shook.
“It’s a new idea. Give me some latitude, will you?” he retorted sharply.
“I never interfere,” Charles began.
“And, we’ve made billions, so relax.”
“Can you assure me that we’ll make money on this? The investment is almost as much as the last acquisition, but you aren’t buying anything. If it’s a takeover, their assets don’t seem worth the trouble or the money.”
“They aren’t publicly traded, so I couldn’t take that route.” Alex picked at his eyebrow absentmindedly.
“So, what is this about, then?”
“Dad, I don’t ask for much, but this is personal. I’m asking for a little latitude without a barrage of inane questions.”
“The one question I must ask you is what you yourself are always so good at asking, Alex. How will Avery and our shareholders benefit?”
“Let’s just say I’m doing a public service, creating jobs and making someone a whole hell of a lot happier. I always find a way to make money for the company and its benefactors, Dad. For Christ’s sake!” His tolerance with the conversation came to a head.
The diners at the few nearby tables sent them awkward glances, so Alex lowered his voice. “This is personal,” he insisted again.
“What’s it about?”
“Something I wanted done, and it evolved into a way to include Cole. It’s something that he can really sink his teeth into. He’s doing well; extremely well. And, my requirements are being met. Not as fast as I’d like, but that’s not his job. If I didn’t care about the company making money, I’d forget negotiating contracts and just pay out the ass to get what I want accomplished.”
“Does this have anything to do with why you look like hell?”
Alex’s lips quirked in the start of a grin. “Awww, thanks for noticing,” he said with mock sarcasm. “I didn’t think you cared.”
Charles scowled. “Don’t be petulant. Your mother noticed last Sunday that you weren’t yourself.”
“Well, Allison bothered me!” Alex complained. “She’s always yapping at me about one charity or another. I already wrote her a check for twenty thousand toward whatever she’s working on this month, but all she does is go on about the tax write-offs and how I should give more. Who in the hell does she think she’s talking to? Is she the one with the MBA?”
“Alex, Allison may get a bit overzealous, but her heart’s in the right place.”
“Her incessant nagging wears on my nerves,” Alex huffed. “It’s not her place to question my decisions with the company or my personal life.”
When his father continued to glare at him, Alex shifted uncomfortably in his chair and ran a careless hand through his already unruly hair.
“Whitney is her friend, Alex. It’s only natural for Allison to ask about her.”
During the family get-together, Allison took him aside to admonish him for not telling her that his relationship with Whitney had ended. Alex had been hungover from a night of feeling sorry for himself, liquor giving him the strength to resist calling or going to Angel, and he didn’t take it well.
“Whitney is a money-grubbing little bitch, Allison.”
“She said you dumped her without an explanation!”
“That’s not true. I told her that she’s a money-grubbing little bitch,” he said with a distracted smirk, humor replacing his irritation. “I’m sure she failed to mention that she called in to a live radio show about how horrible I was to her? If I wasn’t already out, that would have sealed the deal.”
“Shut up! She did what?”
“Oh, yes, she did, Allison. I’m not surprised she didn’t mention it. She never was any good at accepting responsibility for things.”
“You mean that new show that’s getting so much buzz? Which was it? At Darian’s station. Umm,” she pondered.
“Angel After Dark,” he grumbled, pouring himself another drink and holding the glass out to her. “Want one?”
Allison shook her head. “No, thanks. I know her. I mean, I spoke with her.”
Alex’s curiosity was piqued and he turned, leaning back against the bar while Allison sat opposite him in one of the wingback chairs. Tension tightened the muscles in his neck and increased the throbbing in his head, but the ache eased by just being able to talk about it. “About what?”
“She has connections to a band I wanted to hire for the benefit.”
Alex relaxed slightly. “Oh. When was this? Have you met her?”
“Two or three weeks ago, I think. No, I haven’t seen her, except for the shots promoting the show, but you know how those things are. It probably isn’t her anyway.”
“Mmm hmm.”
“Why?” They were close and Allison’s eyes narrowed. Alex was out of sorts, quiet, introspective, and not himself. He looked tired, like he’d rolled out of bed and threw on the first thing he found, and more telling, he didn’t argue when their mother asked personal questions. He simply left the room. “Do you know her? Do you know what she told Whitney?”
He contemplated how much to say. He hadn’t confided in anyone, not even D. “She told her to get her shit together and walk away,” he answered quietly. He took a long pull on his drink and the ice clinked on the side of the fine crystal glass. “Whitney didn’t have the balls to follow through, and I called the show the next week and told my side of the story. Whitney, no doubt, painted a biased picture. Angel, however, had her own ideas on men like me. User, womanizer; you know the classic stereotype. She had no problem showing her distaste.”
“Oh, my God. I can only imagine. I’m sure you were ruthless in defense of your position.” Allison’s eyes sparkled as she teased him. “And it’s Angel, is it?”
“Yes. Angel. Don’t worry, Allison, she gives as good as she gets.”
Understanding dawned on his sister’s face. “Oh, I see.”
“Do you?”
“I know you, Alex. Nothing gets your juices flowing like a good challenge.”
He nodded and moved into the room. “It may have started out that way.”
“Tell me, Alex.”
“She’s… not like anyone I’ve ever met. She’s very provocative. I wanted her like I’ve never wanted anyone. Like—I couldn’t help myself.”
“Apparently, she couldn’t either.”
Alex stared into his glass, examining the ice as if it were a precious diamond. He shrugged.
“So Whitney should hang up any hope for reconciliation, I see.”
“Please, Allison.” His reluctant eyes met hers. “You’ve spoken to Angel, then?”
“Yes, but it was all business. I thought I’d hear back from her by now.”
“Do you think you will?”
“Most likely. The band isn’t booked and she’ll be instrumental in securing them.”
“Do you know what her connection is?”
“Yes. She fronted the band a few years ago.”
“I believe she was involved with one of her bandmates for a time.”
“It seems you have a lot of information, Alex.”
“Does she know you’re my sister?”
“No. I mean I don’t know how she would. I had no reason to mention you and our last names are different.”
“Can you keep it that way?”
“Why?”
“We’re taking a break. I’m trying to give her just enough space to miss me.”
“Was this your decision or hers?”
“It took me completely by surprise. I thought things were going well. Better than well.”
“Wow.” Allison’s eyebrow lifted. “You’ve always been the one to walk. How are you handling it?”
He shrugged, ignoring the gravity of her statement. “I’m a little off-balance, Allison, but I’m still me.”
“Is there anything else?” Alex asked, shaking himself out of his thoughts.
Charles set his napkin on the table with purpose. “It strikes me as strange that you are keeping this deal a secret.”
Alex smoothed down his tie. “Do you know who Mark Swanson is?”
“I’ve heard the name, but no.”
“He’s a small-time hood who runs a chain of dry cleaners in the Greater Chicago Area. He’s been charged with raping his stepdaughter. However, it looks unlikely he’ll be convicted.”
“It’s news, so what? It seems an unlikely business opportunity. Maybe, if the man was getting convicted and the business was being sold off cheap. But, this?” Charles frowned.
Alex sighed heavily. “He’s guilty, but he’s able to pass the psychological tests, even the polygraph.”
“That doesn’t explain your involvement,” his father insisted.
“The psychologist profiling the case is a friend. The bastard is threatening her.”
“Just a friend?”
“No.”
“I see. So you think that justifies using company resources?”
Alex shook his head. “Not exactly, but it’s something I need to do, Dad.”
Charles’s eyes studied his son. He was dressed impeccably, as always, but he looked exhausted, his face drawn, his eyes bloodshot. He had new hope his son would find new faith in love. It was perplexing to Charles that Alex would be so cynical when his parents shared such a close relationship. He nodded. “Okay, son.”
Alex was thankful his father let the subject drop and the conversation continued on to less personal matters. The situation he shared with Angel felt too intimate to share, like he’d be betraying some sacred bond. Cole knew by necessity, and Darian knew they were seeing each other, but nothing more. Other than that, and the short mention to Allison, he kept it close to the cuff.