I had always been edgy but on the socially acceptable side. This girl was beautiful but a lot busier in her hair, makeup, and piercings than I thought Jared would have liked. He’d always said he appreciated my less-is-more attitude.
I guessed that was a lie.
She wore skinny jeans tucked into combat boots and a black sleeveless blouse that draped flatteringly down her body past her hips. Her wrists were adorned with dozens of metal and jelly bracelets while her ears sported metal from the lobe all the way around to the tragus. Her face had a few holes as well.
She seemed like Fallon, only louder.
Seeing Ben approach him—probably to break the ice sooner rather than later—I headed over with Fallon and Juliet, catching Jared’s eyes almost immediately.
Madoc leaned into Jared, speaking close, but Jared’s gaze stayed on me as Ben grabbed my hand when I came up. I blinked, smiling up at him and hoping he couldn’t feel the sweat on my palms.
“Tate.” Jared nodded.
I breathed in and out steadily through my nose, keeping my pulse in check. “Jared.”
“Your career really took off, man,” Ben admired, speaking to Jared. “Congratulations.”
“Thanks,” Jared replied without meeting Ben’s eyes.
“Clear the track!” I heard Zack holler in the distance as the round-one drivers took position.
“So you two finally got together?” Jared inquired, his words sounding more like a statement than a question.
I arched a brow, turning back to the track and ignoring him.
Ben joined me, taking my lead that I had no intention of indulging a conversation with Jared. Zack announced the next race, and we all watched as he and Jax set up the drivers and sent them off.
The heavy engines shot off, pounding over the screams of the crowd, and I smiled as the cars roared past, the wind sending my hair flying over my shoulder.
Juliet and Fallon chatted, and Madoc hung back, staying quiet. Jared stayed behind me on the bleachers, the heat of his eyes covering my back.
I’d missed that feeling.
“Well,” Jared’s smooth voice floated behind me. “Our little pond certainly has come a long way, hasn’t it? My brother looks like he’s outdone himself with the Loop. Some amazing races, hot new drivers . . .”
I slipped my fingers into the pockets of my tight jeans and tilted my chin up, the corner of my mouth tilting in a grin.
“But it’s still a small pond,” he finished, his hard voice dripping with disdain.
When he tore me down in high school it was to feel better about himself. But now it was to get me to react.
I turned around, meeting his eyes but never giving him what he wanted. He could gloat and wear his self-satisfied smirk, but I didn’t play this game anymore.
But much to my surprise, Jared wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t smirking. He wasn’t teasing. His expression was dead cold, and his eyes bored a hole right through me.
There was no anger, no amusement, no threatening tone to his voice . . .
What was he thinking?
“This is Pasha, my assistant.” Jared introduced the goth-looking girl he’d driven in with. He turned to her. “Pasha, this is Tate and Ben.”
Assistant? Yeah, right. Men and women who were attractive and unattached generally weren’t friends. Unless one of them was gay.
“Tate?” Pasha repeated as if she recognized my name, and I saw her shoot a look to me and then back to Jared. “As in . . . ?” she asked him, trailing off as if they shared a hidden understanding.
I narrowed my eyes, noticing that he stayed silent, with his eyes focused out on the race.
And her interested expression turned judgmental as an eyebrow shot up.
She knew something.
I turned back around, just in time to see the racers cross the finish line, and I wondered if Jared had talked about me with her. It would’ve been unlike him. He rarely confided in anyone, so why her?
“Round two!” Zack shouted over the loudspeaker, making me jump.
I looked over the track, my game face lost, and . . .
And now my blood wasn’t dancing under my skin. It was shaking.
Shit.
“On the track!” Zack shouted, and Ben hooked my elbow, pulling me away.
“Shake it off,” he told me, cupping my face. “His being here doesn’t matter.”
I brought his hands down gently, giving him a half smile. I was grateful for what he was trying to do, but I could take care of myself.
I let Ben kiss me on the lips before I turned away and walked to my car, hearing whistles from the guys in the crowd. Even more so this week with Madoc’s little impromptu wardrobe alteration on my shirt catching everyone’s attention. Sometimes I dressed to kill, simply because it was fun to change it up, but I wanted to be noticed for my driving, not shaking my ass.
Climbing in, I pulled my car up to the starting line and sat next to Jaeger, with Chestwick and Kelley behind us. It was another four-car race, which made it interesting, with the narrow track.
I climbed out of the car to go hear instructions.
All three guys, surrounded by their girlfriends and our friends, crowded around the front of the cars as Jax stood up in the tower doing his techie thing and Zack administered the rules.
I steeled my body, determined that in one minute, I’d be in my car, with my music, and everything else forgotten.
“All right, everyone,” Zack rallied us, his bald head shining in the stadium lighting. “It’s a four-loop race. The top finishers from last week get the two front spaces this week. No rubbing, and no shenanigans.” He pointed around to all of us. “You don’t race clean, you won’t be invited back.”
Rules we already knew and rules that were hard not to break. The track was wider than it had been in high school but not wide enough for four cars. Not rubbing was nearly impossible.
Zack eyed all of us for compliance, and the crowd started chanting names.
“I’m ready,” I said, nodding.
Zack peeked over our heads, toward the bleachers.
“Mr. Trent!” He called for Jared, feigning formality. “How about a turn for old time’s sake, Mr. Big Shot?” he joked.
He held out his hands, trying to make a big show and get the crowd riled up as they started cheering.
“Sorry, man,” I heard Jared say in the distance behind me. “There’s only one race I’ll take, but I’m not sure she’s ready to give me what I want.”
“Ohhhh,” the crowd nearly panted, and before I let his words sink in, I did an about-face and got into my car without giving him a look.
Everyone cleared the road, and I glanced into my rearview mirror as the engines roared to life. He leaned back on his elbows, looking my way, and I averted my eyes, rolling up my windows and turning up Shinedown’s “Adrenaline.”
Nothing. I closed my eyes, letting the music sink in. Nothing was weighing me down.
Med school was a done deal. The house wasn’t important. Ben was no pressure. Jared was nothing but a temptation that couldn’t be trusted.
I was on top of the world.
My car door opened, and I snapped my eyes over to see Jared’s “assistant” climbing into the car.
“What are you doing?” I barked, watching her settle back and fasten the seat belt.
“Coming with,” she answered, pushing her black-frame glasses up the bridge of her nose.
I stared at her, befuddled, because I wasn’t entirely sure if she was trying to be friendly or piss me off.
I cleared my throat and looked at her. “You’re sleeping with my ex-boyfriend,” I pointed out. “Get out.”
She reached over, turning down the volume on my stereo.
“I’m not sleeping with Jared,” she corrected. “I have never slept with Jared, n
or do I ever want to.”
I narrowed my eyes, studying her.
She nodded, allowing, “Although we are close, even though he likes to pretend we’re not. I saw him almost cry once, and it kind of made me like him more despite the fact that he maintains it never happened,” she explained. “But he’s not my type, and I promise you of that.”
She looked at me firm and serious, and I kind of believed her.
And then I wondered why I cared.
I turned the volume back up. “Out,” I ordered, but then she turned it back down.
“I’m bored,” she argued. “And I’d like to experience my boss’s humble beginnings. If you’re lucky, I may start to like you.”
I rolled my eyes.
I saw Zack get up on the podium with his megaphone, and I checked to make sure I was in first gear.
“You’re a distraction,” I blurted out, wishing she’d get out of my car. I was tempted to get someone to haul her out, but it would waste my time.
“I’d say you were already distracted,” she retorted, and I snapped my eyes up at her, catching her insinuation.
“Ready!”
I jerked my gaze back out the windshield, not feeling ready.
“Set!” I heard him call, and I blasted the music, shooting her a warning look.
Why was she in my car? Why did she think I was distracted?
And shit, how many laps was I doing again?
Uh . . . four. Four laps. I nodded to myself. Yeah, four.
“Go!” he shouted, and I sucked in a breath, gassing the damn car with all of my might.
I yanked the stick down into second and up into third, smoothing into my gears like always. My car was a part of me, and I checked my rearview mirror, seeing two of the cars still behind me and Jaeger at my side.
Coming up on the first turn, I let Jaeger go ahead, and I drifted behind him around the turn. I skidded, going to the outside, but not having to slow nearly as much.
“Whoa!” Pasha shouted as we raced, and I shot down into fourth as I slammed my foot down on the gas and sped ahead, now in front of everyone.
I’d love to say it was merely skill, but the car was a huge part, as well. The size and maneuverability were strong factors.
I shot up into fifth and down into sixth, hearing Pasha’s excited breaths next to me. “I thought hanging out in the racing world, you’d be used to this,” I challenged, seeing her holding the handle above the door as I tried to keep my mind off Jared, who was no doubt watching my every move out here.
Pasha breathed hard. “I drive for fun, and I watch races, but I’m hardly ever the passenger.” She shook her head, smiling. “It’s different.”
I almost smiled back. Yeah, she was right. Riding with Jared had been a huge rush. No control—you just rode and put your life in someone else’s hands.
It was an entirely different experience but still as exciting.
I rounded the next turn and the next, slowly starting to relax.
I finally turned down the music. “You don’t know me, okay?” I told her, setting the record straight. “Whatever Jared told you . . .”
I felt her eyes on me, and even though I wanted to know what she knew, I wasn’t opening this up for discussion.
No one—especially people I didn’t know—made me feel bad about myself. And her look at me earlier had made me shrink.
“The guy you’re dating?” she started softly. “Ben? He’s a lifeline to you. Something to hold on to so you don’t sink, right?”
I peered over at her, confused and shocked at the same time. Lifeline?
“You know how I know?” she asked. “Because you’re a strong woman, and he’s too weak for you. You can’t possibly respect him.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I snapped. “You don’t know us. You just met us. He’s a good guy, and I like him a lot.”
“I’m sure you do,” she shot back, sounding amused. “As a friend.”
I squeezed the wheel, racing past the finish line and continuing for the first turn again.
“He does what you tell him to do,” she went on. “He doesn’t argue, and he doesn’t run away. He’s easy to handle, right?”
When I said nothing, she continued, “Jared kept trying to get under your skin earlier, and Ben should’ve reacted,” she mused. “As the guy you’re dating, he should’ve taken offense—at least a little bit—but he was too much of a coward.”
I chewed the inside of my lip, fire burning down my leg as I floored the gas.
“You’re strong,” Pasha gauged. “Someone who likes to be in control. But wouldn’t it be exhausting—not to mention boring—always being the one in the lead? Never being challenged?”
I turned up the music again and shook my head.
Ben wasn’t boring.
He might not get me hot, but he also wasn’t rude, aggressive, and complicated. And I didn’t need to explain myself to—
“Jared, though?” she chirped over the music, cutting off my train of thought. “I can imagine that relationship threw you on the ground and fucked the daylights out of you, huh?”
I turned my wide eyes on her, barely noticing Jaeger’s car zooming past me.
“Metaphorically speaking, of course,” she added.
I breathed out a nervous laugh, stunned into silence. I had to hand it to her. She was bold.
I charged ahead, powering around the turn and missing Jaeger’s car by a hair. I sped on, taking the lead again as I tightened every muscle in my body and raced hard, jerking the wheel wildly and making her laugh as I skidded around the corners.
Flying across the finish line two more times, I barely bothered to downshift as I turned, feeling the weight of the car pulling and our bodies trying to go with it.
She started laughing, nervously glancing behind her.
“Go, go, go!” she shouted, smiling from ear to ear.
“You’re very weird, you know that?” I commented.
“I consider that a compliment.” She beamed.
Jaeger’s orange Camaro pulled up on my side, and I swerved into his lane to cut him off, knowing that we’d bump on the next turn if he was too close. Backing off, he pulled behind me, honking his horn furiously.
I raced ahead, feeling the energy down to my bones the way I always did here.
But it was more than that, too. It didn’t feel like it was going to be over when the race ended as it usually did.
Tearing across the finish line, I let out a happy laugh, pounding my steering wheel with the adrenaline built up inside of me.
“Woo-hoo!” Pasha screamed, rolling down the window and howling.
I sucked in air, breathing hard as I spoke to her. “So was that boring?”
She acted like it was no big deal. “It didn’t suck.”
The crowd descended, pounding the roof, and I moved to get out of the car so I could smack one of them, because who the hell thought it was okay to pound on my car?
But Pasha grabbed my arm, and I stopped to look back at her.
“You should ask Jared about the one time I almost saw him cry,” she said, her happy face turning serious. “I’m sure you’d find it very interesting.”
Chapter 6
Jared
Jax stood up in the announcer’s stand, peering down at me with a grin on his face that said I was way out of my depth. Yeah, I was kind of getting that.
Tate was different.
I shook my head and turned my gaze back to the track, seeing her hop out of her car and talk with the other drivers. So confident. So strong.
But the way I wanted her was still the same.
Jax was right. I could go around about it for days or weeks or another two years, but I’d still come to the same conclusion as he did this afternoon. I loved Tate, and I would always love her.
I’d never planned on letting her go. Not really. Seeing her with someone else a year and a half ago threw me for a loop, and I thought that maybe I still wasn’t good enough, maybe I couldn’t live up to him, maybe she was finally happy after all the pain I caused, and maybe, just once, I could think of her happiness and leave her the fuck alone for once in my life. Maybe, just maybe, we weren’t meant to be together.
But there were no maybes now. I wanted her back.
For good.
“Girl,” one of the racers drawled, wrapping an arm around Tate’s neck as she made her way through the crowd. “I could’ve won that race. You know I backed off out of pity.”
One corner of her lips tilted in a smile as she made her way back over to where Ben stood a few feet away from me.
“We’ve raced three times,” she pointed out, eyeing him. “Why keep racing me if you’re purposely going to lose every time?”
I laughed under my breath. “Well, if he beats a girl,” I mumbled, pretending to fiddle on my phone, “what has he really won?”
I heard Madoc’s snort from a few feet off, and I swallowed, immediately regretting the words.
Awesome. What the hell was wrong with me? No matter how much I liked to think that I had grown up, being around Tate brought out the bully all over again.
I could practically feel Pasha’s eye roll next to me, and silence fell on Tate’s conversation telling me they’d all heard the insult.
“You don’t believe that.” Tate’s flat voice sounded so sure, and I knew she was talking to me.
I looked up, stuffing my phone into my back pocket as I stood.
“You’re a lot of things,” she continued, folding her arms across her chest, “but you’re not sexist.”
“Look who knows me so well,” I taunted, acting like her boyfriend wasn’t even there.
And he wasn’t. He didn’t matter.
Tate cocked an eyebrow. “You’re not hard to figure out, Jared.”
“No, I’m not,” I agreed. “I’m just bored.”
“Hmmm,” she nodded, shooting me with her fake, sympathetic gaze. “That’s right. This is all beneath you now, isn’t it? We’re simply the amateurs entertaining you with our mediocrity.” And then she raised her voice, stepping closer as she spoke to those around us. “He can take stories of us back to his hot shot friends, laughing about his ‘roots’ . . .” she stopped to add air quotes, much to the enjoyment of everyone listening. “And how far he’s come while we’re all still muddling along in this no-name town.”