Kate sipped her drink; it tasted like her feelings—sweet excitement. “Thank you.”
“Anytime.” Ty busied himself slicing potatoes into thin layers and fanning them across a baking tray. Kate immediately felt guilty for sitting on her ass. “Can I help you with anything?”
Ty smiled. He was doing that a lot tonight—she’d never seen his denim-blue eyes so warm. “Not a chance. Tell me about your new job. You’re back at work now, yeah?”
Kate told him about D&D, her new desk, her nice colleagues, and the fact that there was a morning tea roster so her brag-worthy baking talents wouldn’t go to waste. As they talked, she made a concentrated effort to focus. It was all too easy to fall silent watching him move about his kitchen, sprinkling olive oil and crushing lemons. It was so attractive to see his precise, talented movements but more than that, she could perv on him without looking like she was perving and think about all the sex they might have once their meal was over.
Before she slept with Ty, Kate had gone years between lovers, but now, after mere weeks, her need was monumental. There had been nights in Prague where she’d felt like she was going crazy from wanting him. She’d lay arching back into her bed like a cat, touching herself as she re-imagined every scene, spanking and blow job. She’d have traded anything she owned for another five minutes of sex. Not even sex. Five minutes of Ty’s hand in her underwear. Now she was in his home, a monumental experience she should be appreciating for all it was worth, and she couldn’t stop thinking about screwing.
“Middleton,” Ty told her, when she licked her lips for the hundredth time. “Are you having trouble focusing?”
“No,” she lied.
Ty flipped a checkered tea-towel over his shoulder. “Then please stop staring at the front of my pants and tell me about your party.”
“Okay,” she squeaked. “Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry,” Ty said, refilling her champagne glass. “I just want to talk to you.”
As Kate drank and relaxed into her surroundings, she caught another familiar smell beneath the slowly roasting meat. “Have you been painting?”
“Yeah.” Ty wiped his hands on a tea-towel and then used it to lift the rack of lamb from the oven. “I did it a few weeks ago, but the smell sticks around. See that area over there?”
Kate turned and saw the cream-coloured alcove. “It’s nice.”
“It used to be lemon-coloured.”
“Gross.”
Ty laughed long and loud and Kate decided she’d ask him about it some other time.
He served their food the way they did in restaurants, pinkish slices of meat arranged beside stacks of vegetables and shiny swells of gravy. They ate in the dining room, at a huge table lit with candles and when they first sat down Ty raised his glass of red to hers. “To first dates.”
“To first dates,” she agreed, because though she’d eaten with him many times, on her couch and then in restaurants, she knew as well as he did that this was their first date. She thought of the card that said he loved her and her heart squeezed tight as a fisherman’s knot. They talked about Prague, about how she, Rapunzel and Casey had been recruited to skate for Victoria in a country-wide derby scrimmage next month. He told her the first draft of his novel was finished and in the hands of his friend Georgie.
“Is she an editor?” Kate asked.
“A heart surgeon. She has good taste, though. If it’s shit, she’ll let me know.”
“And if it isn’t?”
“I’ll do another draft and then you can read it if you like.”
Kate excused herself to go to the bathroom and ensure she didn’t cry into the best lamb she’d ever eaten.
“I like your poems,” Ty said when she got back.
“I literally just stopped myself from crying.”
He laughed. “Sorry, I just thought I should tell you they’re good.”
“I…I’m not a professional. That is, if anyone’s a professional poet these days. I just like it.”
“I liked it, too.” Ty leaned closer. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Kate knew he meant everything that had happened from the moment they’d met up until now, all the misunderstandings and complications. She wanted to talk, she really did, but not now. “Can’t we just leave it for tonight? Not forever or anything, just tonight?”
Ty’s smile was soft. “Okay, just let me say one thing?”
“Sure.”
“In your letter you said I never charmed you except in bed.”
Kate’s stomach twisted up with guilt. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be, you were pretty much right. I never tried to win you over that way because I didn’t know what the hell to do with you. From the start you made me feel things I didn’t understand and I resented it. I resented you.”
Kate looked down at her hands, remembering all the times he’d ignored her at work, glared at her as though she was the most irritating girl in the world.
“I was an asshole,” Ty said quietly. “I was an asshole and a coward, but I was never pretending. When we were together the attraction I felt…it scared the shit out of me. I didn’t understand it and when we started having sex and I realised I liked you as much as I wanted to fuck you…”
“It got worse?”
Ty nodded. “It’s hard to charm someone when you don’t think they deserve you. I know that sounds like a line and you don’t have to believe me, but it’s true. I was sure I didn’t have a right to someone as sweet as you. I wasn’t using you for sex, I was letting you use me and hoping that was all you ever wanted so I wouldn’t disappoint you.”
Kate swallowed, her sinuses were hot and tight. “Ty…”
He rapped on the table with his knuckles. “So, that’s all I wanted to say. That and I love you. But you, uh, might already know that from the card. And the poem books. I’d have tried to write one for you, a poem I mean, but, uh, I’m no good at that kind of thing.”
Kate couldn’t help herself, she giggled. “That’s okay. I don’t expect a poem.”
“I wish I could write you one, but it would probably be shit.”
“It’s totally fine.”
“Jesus.” Ty ran a hand through his hair, looking mortified. “I’m forty-six next week, I should be a lot smoother than this.”
“I like what you’ve done so far,” Kate said. “Although, I am in love with you, so I like pretty much everything you do.”
Ty smiled. “Come over here.”
When she walked over to his side of the table, he pulled her onto his lap. “I’ve missed kissing you more than I’ve ever missed anything,” he said, sliding his palm across her cheek. “I had dreams about kissing you.”
“Same,” Kate whispered. “But I had more about spankings.”
“First things first…”
Ty took his time, running his fingers through her hair, pressing his lips along the line of her jaw and stroking her skin, so that when their mouths finally met, Kate felt like her whole body was shaking apart. It was a long kiss, a perfect kiss. It felt like coming home. Ty didn’t try to take things further. He led her to his lounge room where a fire was crackling in the grate. There was a smell Kate loved and had forgotten she loved—sea-salted wood burning on an open fire. As soon as the scent of it entered her nostrils, she started to cry. Not cute, little tears—big old sobs.
“Is everything okay?” Ty asked, looking panicky. “Is something wrong?”
“No, it’s all too much. It’s too good. I don’t…I have no idea what to do with all this goodness.” She pressed a hand to her heart. “It’s too much, you know?”
“I’m sorry,” Ty said, taking her other hand. “I know I did that. Made you feel like pleasure always came with a price.”
“You didn’t. I had messed up—fucked up—ideas about love ages before you came along.”
Ty’s hand tightened around her own. “One day we’ll talk about everything.
What happened when you were growing up, why things turned out the way they did. We’ll lay it all out until everything that’s rotten dries up and all that’s left is the memories.”
“But not tonight, right?”
“Not tonight,” Ty agreed. “Do you want dessert?”
She instantly perked up. “Maybe? Yes. Yes, please.”
Dessert turned out to be a honey-chocolate torte that could have been used to negotiate world peace. They talked—about what, Kate didn’t know. After so much concentration she was starting to fixate on sex again. Her new underwear grew damp between her legs and she contained herself by remembering she didn’t have long to wait.
When Ty was done scraping up the last remnants of his torte, Kate all but snatched his plate away and launched herself at him.
“Easy, Middleton,” Ty said, holding her at arm’s length. “Do you want to watch something? A movie? A documentary? I bought a box set, hundreds of hours of nature at its finest.”
Kate frowned.
“We don’t have to watch anything about lobsters,” he added. “Although they might come up, I’m not sure what’s on the DVDs.”
“It’s not about lobsters,” Kate said. “I thought we’d…you know…”
Ty kissed her hand. “I don’t want to rush this. I don’t want to pressure you or make you doubt what I wrote on that card.”
“The card was great,” Kate agreed. “But, like, sex?”
He gave her a considering look. As though assessing if she was sober enough to drive. “I can kiss you again if you like?”
“What the…no!” Kate ducked under his arms and relaunched herself at his face. Ty put up a token resistance, but within seconds they were making out like teenagers. Kate slung a leg over his hips, determined to get him so wound up he wouldn’t think about saying no. She’d barely straddled him before Ty’s hands were buried in her hair, pulling it taut in his fist. “You’re a bad fucking girl, aren’t you?”
Kate smiled. Hearing him call her that alongside a sting of pain was like a chorus of angels serenading her right in the ear. Loving, respectful Ty was great, but filthy, punishing Ty was the one she wanted right now.
“I am a bad girl,” she told him. “I need you to put me right, Daddy.”
Ty’s gaze grew hotter, his hands releasing her hair to close over her breasts. “You’ve been hurting without me, haven’t you, sweetheart?”
Kate nodded, whimpering as his thumbs stroked over her nipples.
“I think I can help you with that.” He closed his arms around her and stood, carrying her out of the room and toward the front of the house.
“Where are we going?” Kate asked, slightly worried he was going to deposit her in his Hilux and drive her home.
“Bedroom.”
She beamed. “Oh. Cool! I can walk, by the way?”
“Not after this, you won’t be able to.”
Kate groaned theatrically.
Tyler Henderson’s bedroom was as austere and manly as the rest of his house. He had a black bed frame and dark blue sheets. He laid her down on top of them, flicked on the bedside lamp and started taking off his clothes. Kate watched as he removed his pants, then his shirt, exposing the thick ripple of scar tissue on his back. She wanted to cry again, not because she was sad, but because she knew stripping off right where she could see him was another way of showing her things would be different. Of course, when he pulled off his briefs, she wanted to cry for another reason.
Ty spotted her looking and grinned, gripping himself in one hand. “Want this, do you?”
“So much. Come to bed?”
His brows drew together. “Ask me nice .”
“Please, Daddy, come to bed?”
“Better.” Ty lay down beside her, passing his fingertips over her arms and collarbones.
“Don’t,” he said when she reached to touch him. “Not just yet. I want to play with you.”
And so he did, kissing her neck, caressing her skin. He slowly removed her dress, then her bra, and finally her underwear. Such prolonged, intimate touching would have been welcome any other time, but right then it was torture.
“Can we please go faster?” Kate begged.
Ty shook his head. “Not yet. I’ve thought about you being in my bed for a long, long time. I’ve gotta make it last.”
He began kissing his way down her body, taking generous detours to both breasts.
“Spread your legs,” he said as he kissed down her midriff and when she did, he knelt between her thighs and began kissing them, passing his lips over her hips and then down to her pubic mound. Kate shivered. This was a compromise and she loved Ty for kissing her there even if he wouldn’t ever—
“Oh my God!”
Ty’s head jerked up. “Are you okay?”
“Yes, but you just licked my pussy.”
“Is that a problem?”
“No, I just thought…”
“Shh,” he said. “I want to take care of you.”
Before she could say anything, he returned his mouth to her cunt and within seconds she could do nothing but scream.
When he was done, Kate was so woozy it was like she was drunk. “You just…and you made me…I thought you didn’t do that.”
Ty sat back on his heels and wiped his mouth. “I thought I told you it wasn’t about a lack of skill. I can do it. I like doing it.”
“Then why…?”
For the first time since she’d come to his door, she saw hesitation in his eyes. A cold drop of fear slithered into her stomach. “It’s okay, you don’t have to tell me.”
Ty took her hand. “It’s the intimacy. You’re so close to everything a woman is when you’re down there, putting your mouth between her legs—it’s too much sometimes. When it came to you I already felt so many things, I didn’t want to feel any more by tasting you.”
Kate smiled. “Well, it was amazing. Almost worth the wait.”
“Almost?”
“Yeah, I mean, it was good, but it’s been months, man. You’re so far behind on the oral sex ratio it’s not even funny.”
“Is that right?” Ty dropped back onto his elbows between her legs. “Guess I should get to work on that.”
When they were done, he pulled her into his arms, and they lay there for a few moments. Eventually Kate roused enough to ask. “Sex?”
Ty shook his head. “Tonight is for you.”
“But I want sex, so shouldn’t you give me sex?”
He hesitated. “I think we should take things—”
She launched herself at him and again, it wasn’t a very hard sell. He took her missionary-style, just like in her fantasies. Kate watched as his body bore down on hers, in all its beautiful, scarred perfection and when she came it was like a pebble bouncing down a stone staircase. It started shallow and went deeper, deeper, deeper until she was screaming the word ‘daddy.’ It affected Ty the same way it always did, made him grunt and snarl and buck into her so that she felt like she was splitting in two. When he came, he sank his teeth into her collarbone and she’d never felt so happy to be hurt. Afterward, they lay side by side and stared up at the ceiling.
“Do you think we’re weird?” Kate asked, because that was the thing she’d always been afraid to ask.
Ty pulled her into his arms. “We’re weird in the best possible way.”
“So…yes?”
He laughed. “Everyone’s weird, Kate, we’re the perfect kind of weird for each other.”
It was a good answer. They lay entwined in each other’s arms, silent and content.
“Would you like to come to Patagonia with me in December?” Ty asked.
“Oh my god, yeah!” she paused. “I just got back from Prague.”
“You’re young, you can take some more leave.”
Kate poked him. “Changed your tune, haven’t you?”
“Yep.” Ty yawned. “Plenty of time to work on your career when you get olde
r. Come to South America with me. I’ll write you a permission slip, if you like. ‘Katie May needs six weeks off to explore South America because I said so, signed her daddy.’”
Kate slapped him. “That’s not my name anymore, I told you.”
“You’ll always be Katie May to me, Katie May.”
She leapt on him again, this time with intent to maim.
Once they were done play fighting, Ty gave her a nervous sort of smile. “You can meet my friend Georgie next weekend, if you like. She’s dying to meet you. We could have drinks.”
“Sure,” Kate said, trying to sound casual, even though everything inside her was sparkling like fireworks. “That would be great.”
“Give it another month and I’ll tell the guys at GGS we’re dating. They’ll be petty as shit and probably guess we were fucking while we worked together, but who cares? They can’t do anything about it.”
Kate smiled. “Sounds good. I’ll tell the people at D&D I’m dating a charismatic, older gentleman then, too.”
“That makes me sound like Dracula. Just say you’ve got a boyfriend.”
Kate turned away so he couldn’t see that her eyes were welling up. “Okay.”
Ty stretched his arms above his head and yawned. “I’ll tell my parents about you next time I call ‘em, but it might be a while before they meet you, they live in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere Queensland.”
“Oh, are you from Queensland?”
Ty glared at her. “Think you’re funny, don’t you, Middleton?”
“Yes.”
“Well we’ll see how fucking funny you are when your ass is on fire.”
Ty’s impromptu punishment set off a chain of events that kept them busy for the next hour and a half. When they were done, they crawled under the covers, which were every bit as warm and Ty-smelling as Kate had dreamed.
“I mean it,” Ty told her, pulling her body into his. “You can meet my family, and I’ll meet yours, but you need to give them a heads up about how old I am. I don’t want any of your brothers trying to take me on. And don’t gloss over it, give an exact age and make sure your parents know we probably went to the same fucking gigs in the nineties.”